The Emma Neo is part of the brand's the Connexion Series that offers an interactive element, basically rendering it a pandemic-proof sex toy. Bluetooth-enabled and app-controlled, it can allow for long-distance play. It's also genderless, and is described on the Lovers landing page as able to be used "under the jaw for enhanced oral stimulation," as a "penile stroker," and even, ahem, to "cup the scrotum" using the ears of the toy. And, to get back to get those pre-pleasure-revolution roots of pretending vibrators are just back massagers, it has the capability to be a heated vibrator, too.

Now, as someone who is personally and romantically penis-free, I don't need it for all of that. But it's nice to know I have some options if a lovely new scrotum walks into my life. In the meantime, I'd love to tell you why—coupled, single, or otherwise—I've come to believe that the Emma Neo Wand Massager is still a vulva-owner's best nightstand friend.

Shop Now: SVAKOM Emma Neo Wand Vibrator ($129)

The first thing I did was use it on my back. I work countless hours a day hunched over my MacBook like a swamp witch, and I have never needed a real-deal back massage more. The wand comes with a detachable two-pronged head, and when removed, you get the best results in terms of feeling the heat.

Now, when used for masturbation, I quickly learned that the un-capped vibrating head also provides for powerful yet not too powerful stimulation (as in, it didn't give me burn-your-clit-off levels of intensity). Strong and steady, no tricks, just bliss. Additionally, I found the warmth of the heated vibrator to be a very welcome upgrade from the cold touch of medical-grade silicone.

But the ears! The ears can be used to kind of grab at the chest, and to trace a V from your cleavage, all the way down. With a bit of imagination, you can even use the ears as an oral sex simulator by angling them to lie flat on your vulva.

Clearly, there are multiple strong arguments for the Emma Neo Wand Vibrator in its many uses, but what I can't get out of my head is how good it is as a massager. Some days, the wand and my gallons of oils don't ever deviate from working on the knots in my shoulders. For all the newfangled tricks the heated vibrator can do, it's that traditional, decidedly not-orgasmic element I like most—but, that's still self care.

Pleasure is so much more than a masturbatory channel to make you come. It's about the things in life that bring you ease and delight and relief. And yes, pleasure is definitely inclusive of reaching orgasm, but why set limitations if what you really need in a given moment is a back massage? Why just be sexual when you can have it all?

I'm grateful to live in a world where I can have it all in terms of pleasure and my embraced understanding of it. That said, the irony is not lost on me that while my orgasm-seeking trailblazers who paved the way for me to orgasm to my heart's content had to use back massagers as vibrators, I'm now using a heated vibrator as a back massager. But I think they'd agree that having the opportunity to experience all forms of pleasure is a goal realized.

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